Slain Yet Trusting

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” [1]

In the years leading up to the Lord sending me to China, the Holy Spirit convicted me to die to self and to live for Jesus. I tried to make my way to China but failed again and again. Then, the Lord moved me to fast and pray. Then, the Lord Jesus opened the door for me. Sadly, sins of envy and self-seeking sometimes ruined my efforts to love the Lord and the people around me.

“Where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” [2]

In my youthful years, I served the Lord, but I also wanted to be a significant someone in the eyes of my peers... rich... athletic... musically gifted... a successful missionary... a sought-after speaker. Those unslain ambitions were my clay in the Lord’s iron. They tended to negate the good that the Lord was doing through me. My envy of others whom I deemed more successful than myself or at least in competition with me, was a tower of Babel (confusion), a work of evil, that needed the Lord to graciously destroy.

“Wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” [3]

Take advice from someone who enjoyed wonderful relationships with the people of China and Hong Kong, only to have that joy taken from me due to my lack of wisdom, lack of purity, lack of peace, my unwillingness to yield and be gentle, my masking (hypocrisy) of partiality towards high achievers... “Please, O Lord, slay envy and self-ambition from me and among Your people.”

“Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.” [4]

Let us ask the Lord to test our desires! Am I seeking His glory or my own? Am I loving those around me or myself? Lust and covetousness are manifestations of impurity. Sin spoils good fruit! Let us ask the Lord to reveal and remove impurity from us so that we yield good fruit.

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, ‘The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously?’ But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” [5]

The Holy Spirit yearns to help us overcome fleeting fantasies of this world. He is able to purge double-mindedness from us. To convict us to be for the Lord! Who or what is more important than the Lord? “Lord, please replace envy and selfish ambition with love for You and our neighbor. Please slay that which needs to die and make alive that which needs to live.”

“Do not speak evil of one another, brethren.” [6]

The vision of the humble is too impaired by his or own shortcomings to speak evil of another. The slain one by God wants to love as God loves, to heal as Jesus heals, and to lead lost souls to Christ that they might be saved.

“Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming upon you!” “Indeed the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out; and the cries of the reapers have reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth.” [7]

The cries of the exploited by so-called high achievers reach the Lord’s ears. When they do, He responds. God heard the cries of slaves in Egypt. He brought down their oppressors and raised them up. “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah was great, because their sin was very grave” so Lord slew them. [8]

It is better to be slain spiritually than physically. In other words, ask the Lord to put to death our sinful self and make us alive in Christ. This way, when our earthly bodies die, our souls go to be with God and receive eternal heavenly bodies that are clothed with robes of righteousness by God. [9]

“My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the Name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience. Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.” [10]

Speaking to sinners in the Name of the Lord requires patience. The Lord reminds us that after Job incurred losses due to his faithful witness for God, the Lord doubled his blessings. Yes, the Lord is compassionate and merciful towards those who suffer for His Name’s sake.

“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the Name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.” [11]

The Lord empowers those who receive Him to be outward looking rather than inward looking. To pray for suffering souls! To sing with the cheerful! To pray for the sick to be healed in the Name of Jesus! Jesus still heals bodies through the prayers of His people. He also heals our sin-sick souls by forgiving our sins and giving us His Holy Spirit to dwell within us.

“Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.” [12]

Turn sinners from sin! Save souls from death! This is the great commission of Jesus to His body the Church. We may have failed this mission in the past. We may have been blessed with great results. That was yesterday! Today is a new day!

“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed. because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘Therefore I hope in Him!’” [13]

Let us lean on the Lord for mercies and compassion! Praise Him for His faithfulness! He is our portion. He is better than the world! Hope placed in Him is not disappointed. “He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” [14]

[1] Job 13:15
[2] James 3:16
[3] James 3:17-18
[4] James 4:1-2
[5] James 4:3-10
[6] James 4:11
[7] James 5:1, 4
[8] Exodus 3:7; Genesis 18:20-21
[9] 1 Peter 3:18; 1 Corinthains 15:35-38, 49; Revelation 7:9, 13-14
[10] James 5:10-11
[11] James 5:13-15
[12] James 5:19-20
[13] Lamentations 3:22-24
[14] Ephesians 3:20