Purity Until Christ Returns

The devil’s perspective of the human body is completely opposite of God’s. The devil seeks to defile the human body. God seeks to purify human heart.

Next time you watch a movie or look up the news on the internet, ask yourself, is this woman or this man I am seeing devoted to God, to spouse, to children? If not, why I am inviting her or him into my life? Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. So, when you see a person always look past their outward appearance into their heart. How is that heart influencing my heart?

God designed us in His image. Within the Triune God there is harmony, love, joy, and peace. God delights to bring men and women together in holy matrimony and to grace them with children to parent. Loving relations achieved within a family unit is a taste of what life within the Trinity and within heaven is like.

God is glorified in husbands and wives love each other in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until death does them part. Spouses who love one another and shun lustful looks at others are enjoying a blessing from God.

The devil is the enemy of committed marriages between one man and one woman. He hates those who dress modestly and reserve their bodies for their spouse. He urges people to steal the hearts of others by flaunting their skin before them. He knows that if he can destroy families, he can destroy the human race. The devil delights in robbing people of pure relationships that God had intended for them.

“When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.” [1]

Godly men chose women according to their outward appearance instead of by their hearts. They sang songs about the flesh’s beauty. They lavished fame and fortune on immodest beauties. They talked about them. They worshipped them. Godly men stopped choosing godly women. If a woman wanted a man, she had to focus her attention on being outwardly beautiful and neglect the development of the inward beauty that comes from God. Marital and familial intimacy suffered because everyone was focused on outward pleasures rather than relational ones.

“Then the Lord said, ‘My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years.’” [2]

People defied God. They rejected His counsel. They were carnally minded.

“The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.” [3]

They were heroes of rebels against God. They loved the praise of men. They lived for sinful pleasure.

“The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The Lord regretted that He had made human beings on the earth, and His heart was deeply troubled. So the Lord said, ‘I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.’” [4]

This great wickedness began with a shift from committed family relationships to a focus on pleasing self. If they had patterned their lives after the intimacy that exists within the Trinity, they would have enjoyed spiritual blessings from the Lord. They would have enjoyed divine intimacy with God and one another.

“Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.” He was faithful to God and his family. He focused on inward godliness rather than outward beauty. He was committed to his wife and children. “Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God.” [5]

If it weren’t for Noah, the whole race would have been wiped out. What about our generation today? Is God finding among us people who walk faithfully with Him? Are we more like Noah and his family?

Jesus said, “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.” [6]

Jesus could return at any moment. We should live circumspectly. May the Lord help us to do so.

[1] Genesis 6:1-2
[2] Genesis 6:3
[3] Genesis 6:4
[4] Genesis 6:5-7
[5] Genesis 6:8-9
[6] Matthew 24:37

Dealing With Disrespect

Guidance for Leaders at Teen Challenge

By Allen Turley

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14

What are expressions of disrespect and what are healthy responses to disrespect? The list below is adapted from Dr. Lucian Leape.

Disruptive behavior is angry outbursts, verbal threats, demeaning comments; swearing; throwing or breaking objects, bullying, shaming, and condemning or criticizing in front of others, and the threat or infliction of physical force or contact. Or it may be a blatant and flagrant disobedience to a rule. The body language says, “What are you gonna do about it?”

Humiliating or demeaning treatment involves patterns of behavior that include ignoring authorities, sarcasm, insensitive jokes, or remarks, making faces to others when authorities aren’t looking. They demean authorities, especially in front of others.

Passive-aggressive behavior includes negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to requests or instructions. They refuse to do tasks or deliberately delay responding, making others wait on them. They can be critical of authority and others. They may go out of their way to make others look bad while acting innocent.

Passive disrespect involves uncooperative behaviors that are not overtly mean. Often it means that they just do nothing. These people may express disrespect by being chronically late, responding slowly to requests, and or unwillingness to cooperate and work as a team with others.

Dismissive treatment is expressed by being flippant or indifferent towards authorities, thus making it very difficult to work with them.

We should not tolerate or encourage disrespect by overlooking it, laughing at it, or becoming a willing party to it. A person could be the best authority in the world, model respect perfectly, be Jesus incarnate and people would still show disrespect at times. We should, however, examine our personal behaviors and practices and the culture of the ministry to see if we are doing things that bring out the worst in people.

Address disrespectful behavior consistently. Develop and rehearse a consistent response plan.

Know the rules. Know the policies your ministry has enacted to keep people safe. Maintain a log to document negative behaviors to help others leaders to see the unhealthy patterns.

Don’t take it personal. Their expression of disrespect is about them, NOT you, EVEN IF it is directed at you. Their actions are their own responsibility. If we take comments personally, we will be defensive and reactive and quickly lose control, giving them exactly that for which they hoped!

Never get into a power struggle or shouting match. Don’t argue. If the conversation feels like it is slipping toward a power struggle, find a way to change the course, even if it means stepping back for a time to regroup. This will demonstrate to the person that whatever they hoped to accomplish by being disrespectful or yelling is off the table until they speak with respect. This sends a clear message that disrespect doesn’t work and won’t be tolerated

Remove the argument from the crowd. Don’t embarrass a person in public. Don’t send a message that you don’t care for their feelings.

Don’t attempt to add a quick jab at the end. Fighting for the last word in an argument only prolongs the argument and adds fuel to the fire.

Avoid lecturing, nagging, sarcasm. They don’t work.

Don’t try to bring it to a quick end without dealing with the issue. In the press for time we often want to jump to an authoritative declaration to end it quickly and move on. Try to understand where the person is coming from and help them understand the issues they need to deal with.

Don’t use language that puts the person on the defensive. It is much better to focus on what you don’t understand by using “I” statements and “feeling” statements rather than, “you” statements. This way you don’t pin them into a corner or assess blame, but rather seek to understand their actions.

Ask open-ended questions. Good questions will help the person understand the source of their negative attitude and behavior for themselves.

Examine Biblical truth with the person regarding the specific issues that need to be addressed.

Accept that changing negative behavior takes considerable time and effort, so be patient with behavioral changes. Although some changes can take place quickly, most take time. (Don’t think so? Take a look at your own life.) Also, accept that the commitment of this time and effort is a worthwhile endeavor. Helping a person to dispel disrespectful behaviors is a slow progress, but you will be giving the person a life-lesson that no one has had the courage or strength to teach before.

Stay the course and rebuild trust. People become loyal to people that treat them with respect, even when they may not deserve it. Remember you are helping them unlearn negative relational attitudes and patterns of behavior that are entrenched in their minds. You are helping them to see that they are not handling things correctly.

Involve others. The best ideas for dealing with particular issues will come from presenting the needs of one person to a few others for discussion, ideas, and team planning.

Leave room for the Holy Spirit. This one should be first, but I have left it for last so that hopefully it will be remembered above all others. As we pray and remain sensitive to the Holy Spirit, He works in the person’s heart and mind and gives us insight and creativity that we would not have otherwise had.

Defiant people may attempt to escalate a situation for many different reasons. Often, they are not afraid of conflict and escalating matters to the point of conflict will ultimately cost you far more dearly than it will them. Often, they don’t mind punishment. Some don’t want to be there and would be happy if you kicked them out. The situation is win-win for them. They break the rules and get kicked out. They are happy on both counts. And to top it off, they showed your weakness by getting you angry. Disruptive people will look for any opening to create chaos. So, be ready. Be on your guard. Plan. Practice.

Now, set aside time to write out and plan your response to disrespect. Role-play your plan in your own mind or with another person – possibly thinking of a person that you have had or are having problems with now.